Nostalgia

what could have been
lost to the flow of time
entire timelines wiped clean
just because i chose mine

like a smoker fails to avoid
just another whiff
i cannot help but stop and wonder
what if?

a different life
but somehow the same person
you begin to wonder whether it was you
that changed or everything else

carbon-copy memories
vivid as eyesight
wayward phrases
or tickets to a flight

they keep me up at night
sleep a distant memory
perhaps if i get nostalgic about sleep i will
be rid of this malady

nor did i ask to be reminded
of all my mistakes
nor did i ask to suddenly understand
what was real and what was fake

"those were simpler times" we claim as though we
have failed to adapt
the problems are just as real and so is the pain
we just abstract.

what does it feel like to feel
seems like i forgot
i just have to learn how to deal
feelings are but a melting pot

let it simmer, what's another
couple of years? my lone raft in the stormy seas at once
facing all my worst fears - will i ever find a harbor?
will i ever be free?

to reminisce is no crime, it is healthy
in small doses - but when you recover moments
that were once lost to the ocean of time
it's not exactly a bed of roses

memories are ships that sail that
sail this tempestuous sea, so when you
come across a wreck remember that it is what once was but
will never again be.